Phish Tales

In my cozy home, where I do dwell,
Lives my gal, sweet as caramel.
But lo, she’s not what she appears,
She’s Martian, I’ve feared for years!

Her fur, it’s black, it’s quite a scare,
It’s everywhere, here, there, EVERYWHERE!
At night, I plot, with a kitchen knife,
To end this big black furry strife.

“When I get home,” I rehearse my part,
“I’ll stop that alien heart.”
But, oh, her cosmic eyes, they gleam,
And all my plans, they just… careen.

We dine out, ‘neath the stars so bright,
My resolve? It takes a flight.
She orders rocks, with a side of rust,
My murderous plans? Oh, they just combust.

“Why, darling,” I stutter, hands a-shake,
“Why order food you don’t intake?”
She smiles, teeth like daggers gleam,
I’m dating a nightmare, not a dream.

I’m running, running, through the marts,
From big black furry creature from Mars.
But ask me, “End this, for heaven’s sake?”
I’m trying, goodness, I’m trying – give me a break!

Yet here’s the twist, the cosmic joke,
Each murder attempt, up in smoke!
For love’s absurd, it’s plain bizarre,
She’s my big black furry creature from Mars.